I can't let Cleveland get off scott free. I just can't. I've enjoyed just about every one of the series of unfortunate sporting events that have befallen the town, most of which came at the hands of my beloved Boston teams. Starting with Pedro Martinez coming out of the bullpen with only a curve ball to slam the door on the Indians in the 99 ALDS and culminating with the Celtics dismantling of the Cavs and LeBron quitting on his team and town...its been a pretty good run. Cleveland has been Boston's playoff fodder for over ten years...and the Patriots took the goat of the Browns and allowed him to become one of the greatest coaches in the NFL, but I'm not here to gloat. I'm here to rub it in the face of Cleveland Fan.
There has been an outpouring of sympathy from the sports world towards poor Cleveland Fan in the weeks following The Decision. I'm just not sure that it's warranted. Cleveland Fan...I think you had it coming.
The good news is that Cleveland Fan really never cared about the Cavaliers. In fact, eight years ago...most of them didn't realize that there was an NBA franchise in their city. I guess its understandable, if Ricky Davis and Darius Miles were the face of my team, I'd probably deny their existence as well. Things started to change once Sports Illustrated and ESPN started promoting this High School Junior from Akron as the heir apparent to Michael Jordan's legacy.
As luck would have it the Cavaliers were terrible during the 2002-2003 season. The team lost 65 games and was rewarded with the rights to draft LeBron James with the number one pick in the draft. Over night a fan base was born.
Cleveland Fan never really had a reputation for being a terrible front runner. Sure they abandoned their teams when they stunk and came out in droves to support them when they were winning, no different from any other city. With this Cavaliers team however, everyone acted like they already had a champion. I'm sure Nike had a lot to do with this perception. I think every Cleveland resident had a "Witness" t-shirt stuffed in their mailbox.
My problem with this whole LeBron-Cleveland love affair was that it was just that. A LeBron-Cleveland love affair, and only that. The fans who were so quick to get on the phone and order their season tickets, couldn't get back on the phone fast enough to cancel them once it was known to the world that LeBron was "taking his talents to South Beach". I feel for the poor souls working in the Cavs ticket office. I can't imagine how many season ticket holder they have to argue with each day now trying to get out of their commitment for next season.
Cleveland Fan, you can go ahead and burn all of your #23 James Cavaliers jerseys. I'm sure you have a vast collection of every alternate version cranked out over the last 7 years. I'm sure they all have "James" on the back, because really, who wants an Anderson Varejao, or Mo Williams jersey. In fact, who the hell were those other guys on the court with "The King"?
Destroy the evidence. Now, head on out to the mall and throw down the cash for a brand spankin' new #6 Miami Heat LeBron James jersey. You can get it in Black, Red or White!!! It's no big deal. Just pretend that the last seven years you were watching the best college player ever to play for Ohio State. Now he's graduated and you can follow the hometown hero in the NBA. Let's face it...you're not going to see NBA quality basketball played in the Quicken Loans Arena for a very long while.
I mean...c'mon. The only thing this city has ever produced of value is dystopian and misanthropic punk rock and hardcore. There's a reason why Pere Ubu and Integrity made such goddamn dark music...Cleveland is a depressing wasteland. There's nothing there, and what is there, shouldn't be. The Browns left (then came back for some strange reason), CC Sabathia left, and finally LeBron left. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame should probably pick up and head on down to Memphis where it belongs.
Sorry Cleveland. It wasn't LeBron. It was you.
No comments:
Post a Comment